The Angel Opens Her Eyes

"and as for the clouds, just let them roll..."

I've received a ton of e:mails from people, some I know well and some I know next to nothing of. These people have reached out to me and have inspired me and made feel a little stronger than I have been feeling as of late. Sometimes, I really think when mankind makes me feel like there is no hope, there are people that walk into my life and really shake me up, and put me on my feet again. E:mails explaining that I am not alone and that they too have been where I am and that feeling this bad just means something really great is on the way and that *god (or the universe) is carrying me now because I am at my weakest. I think sometimes people see more in me than I see in myself, this has been a prevailing theme since I was young I never really noticed good or bad in me but people would always tell me they saw light from within me, that I was here for a reason and no one could ever put their finger on it, put their finger on me but they could feel it, and thank god they could because I couldn't... still can't. I guess what I'm trying to say is, without these people that notice I would probably be long gone. Doubt has consumed me entirely and the insecurities that have been etched into my mind by an ill-intended carver too often take a hold of me in every form. Today is a better day, everyday is a better day I just trip and fall sometimes, only to pick myself up or be picked up and be 10 steps ahead of where I was before I hit the ground. I am very thankful for everyone in my life and I am sending out positive vibrations that everyone will have the comfort I had last night/this morning when I felt I was at a loss and quite possibly the loneliest I'd ever been.. I just wish at our times of need there would always be people there to push you through, or at least hold your hand whilst you take it all in stride. Knowing you're not alone is really soothing/encouraging. Lets just all love and appreciate one another, doesn't matter who you are, or where you've been just that we're human and have feelings (pointing out the obvious, I realize but it's sad how few people actually keep that in mind), and we should support and be kind to everyone we come into contact with, and be gentle too. Lets open our ears and hearts and really take people in...

All my love, 

Ashley

OH! I almost forgot.... Happy Fourth!! I hope that everyone will be surrounded by people they love and care about and that for one night, any and all sorrows will be drowned with laughter and fireworks.